Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Screw you too

I don't know how to go about this. Do I just leave it, or do I say something. Most, if not all, of my friends & family know that I have cancer, know I've had 2 surgeries & know that I was extremely sick during my treatment. Several friends & family have come to my aid. They have come over & clean my house, made dinners for me & my family, or just hung out for a bit. I know for a while I couldn't even eat, but my family still needs to eat. Or at least most of them have offered to, and I turned them down. But there are some people who I thought would call me, stop by, etc, and nothing. Nada. I feel like when I needed them most, they were not there. Most people know they do not need an invite to my house, just call me when you are on my block so I can let my dogs outside. But people who I'm not even close to were bringing me food, kept calling me & asking if I could eat so they could bring it, etc, calling me with support, love, etc and the ones I thought would, didn't. What do I do? Do I continue to be their friends, but back off? Do I just pretend it never happened? Do I say something? Well, right now in my heart, all I can say is "Screw you too."

Our Anniversary

Yep, another anniversary. This year we went to Napa. We both have never been there. Obviously, this is a year for a lot of firsts. Now that I'm feeling better, I want to get out and do things I have never done before.

Before we left the house, Sebastian shocked me with 2 tickets to Celine Dion when she comes in November! I can't wait. I always wanted to see her in Vegas, but never got around to it. Then he also got me a Marilyn Monroe portrait to match the Audrey Hepburn one I have. He is so good to me. I LOVE my husband.

So when we got to Napa, we weren't sure what to do (we knew want wanted to go wine tasting, but didn't know where to start), so we stopped at the visitor center. We got a map, and was just looking at all the wineries on there and things to do. Then all of a sudden, I see something called the Wine Train. Hmm, what's that? We call it up, an a train is leaving in about an hour. So we drove there, and got our tickets. About 20 minutes later, we boarded the train. On the ride up through Napa, we had wine (Sab had beer) and appetizers. They were pretty good. The ride was about 1 1/2 hours. Then we stopped so the train could turn around. We had to change cars, and we got on the meal car. There we had piping hot bread, soup or salad, our meal (I had the Salmon, Sab had the Prime Rib ~ we aren't that predictable are we?) and then dessert. For dessert, Sebastian got the chocolate cake, and I got Creme Brulee. I bet you would have never guessed that! Everyone knows I'm the chocolate lover! During dessert the waiter gave us dessert wines, he gave Sab a Port wine, and me a Muscat. I really enjoyed the Muscat, very light & sweet.

After lunch, we went shopping. I got some shoes, a new Coach purse & wallet, and then we got Sab's mom a Coach purse too, cuz her birthday was coming up. Then I couldn't find my sunglasses (in the pics I'm borrowing an extra pair of Sebastians) so I got a new pair of Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses. I was so excited. After shopping, we went back to our room to rest a bit. We decided on Japanese food for dinner, and that was in downtown Napa. We had good reviews, and the wait was long, so that must mean they are good, right? Well, they were just so-so. Once we got to our table, the wait was still long. They were not any faster at service than they were are seating us. No biggie, I enjoyed the company :)

The next morning we had breakfast at the B&B. It was quite yummy. Then we headed out to do some wine tasting. We started at V. Sattui. I got a bottle of Gamay Rouge, Muscat, Reisling and Sab got a White Zin. I had a great anniversary with my hubby. I hope for many, many more.

Cirque de Soliel

I have never been to a Cirque de Soleil show, so last year I got tickets for us to go. I was hoping that I would be feeling better by the time it came, and I was. The show was fabulous. I can't believe we have never been! I want to go see all of them now! Mom, guess you'll be seing me soon.... Cuz most of them are in Vegas. I will probably schedule a weekend this summer to go see her. I also want to go see my sis Maria in Indiana. I have not seen her for about 5 years! How time flies. There is no excuse for not going to visit her. We are only getting older, and time is not on our side. I was so happy to see her daughter Christina & Tai last year.

OK, so I'm rambling - Kooza is a must see. The contortionists were fantastic, and a bit freaky. Then there were the acrobats, dancers, gymnasts, etc. I'm sure that some of the dancers were acrobats ect, they probably do several different things, but it was great. I'll definitely go again!

Here's a pic of Sebastian, Paige, Me & Reanna.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Back to Work

It was nice to be able to have my surgeries & treatments & not have to worry about work. I thought I could go back part-time while I did the low-dose, but that proved to hard. But since I didn't even continue with the low-dose, I started back at work part-time, but that did not last long. They kept piling the work on me, and soon enough I was back full time. I would have loved to be home longer - and get my strength back in my leg & body. But it's my fault. I should've been more persistent on getting to the gym. I did go this week with Reanna. That was good. Right now I'm feeling it in my legs & abs. I hope to have my leg & knee stronger by summer.

I told a co-worker that I feel it more in my legs today than yesterday. She said she noticed that she would feel it two days later instead of the next day as she got "older." Wow. Thanks. Thanks for letting me know that I'm old. Because I really had thought time stood still since last year. It certainly feels that way. But obviously not. I'm getting back to reality, and I have to realize that I'm getting old.

No more treatments

I finished up my treatments that were full dose. Wow. I can't believe I got through 20 of those treatments. I then went back to do the low dose at home. I had to wait a while because they had to special order them. The pharmacy did not have any? So when they came, I went to the injection unit so they could show me how to give them to myself. The nurse made me give myself one right then & there. I thought there was no way I could give myself a shot! But she insisted, and as I sat there in front of her and she helped me to poke the needle in (it wasn't very long) I screamed! It did not hurt at all, just a small pinch. But just the thought of me doing it was crazy. Once it was in, she injected the Interferon, and that was it. Done in about a minute.

So I went home, and 2 hours later, it was pure pain. This low dose treatment was far worse than the high dose I had been doing. I thought it would be easier. A few days later, I had Sebastian help me with the shot. I didn't scream this time. And then again, 2 hours later, the pain returned. I thought to myself, I'm done. I did my high dosage treatment for the time I intended. I could not do 11 months of the low dose. My body had been through enough the past few months. So I met with my doctor and told him I was done. He offered to up my pain medication, but by then my mind was already made up. My treatments were over.