Monday, October 29, 2007

Oncologist Appointment

I had an appointment with Dr. Kwong, my Oncologist. I had a few questions for him, and he was helpful. For some reason I think the Interferon injections are going to hurt, but he told me they will not. I still don't believe that, but I guess I'll find out soon enough. I'm going to have to get my injections 5x a week - I thought it would only be 3x. Wow, that's a lot of office visits. Luckily the hospital is nearby. My current stage is IIIC. I was hoping for IIIA or IIIB, but because there were 4 lymph nodes with cancer, its IIIC. Wow - the next stage is IV. I hope I never get to that stage. The good thing is that I'm M0, which means there is no metasteses. (sp?). I'm extremely happy about that. That would not be a good thing.

After my appointment, I got a flu shot and then the treatment manager Mary gave me a tour of the treatment facility. I walked in there completely scared & shocked. This whole time I didn't really feel like I had cancer. I had no interaction with anyone with cancer. It's only been me & the drs this whole time. I almost lost it when I walked into the treatment facility. It took all of me to keep from breaking down. It was the first time I felt sick, cancer sick. The room was filled with chairs & IVs & the like and a good amount of the chairs were filled with patients getting their cancer treatments. I thought, I'm just another number. I'm another statistic. And next week I'm going to be another fighter. As I'm typing this, I think my dog Butter felt my pain. He just came up to me and kissed me. I just love him. Back to my story. Just walking through the treatment center, I glanced at a few patients. I'm sure most of them are going through chemo, which I'm not doing. I saw a women with a scarf over her head. I saw another women with a full head of hair, just like me. There were even a few men in there. Seeing all of the patients made me realize that I, Linda, have cancer. I don't look sick, I don't even feel sick. How has this disease found me. How did I get it. As many, many cancer patients have said, Why Me?

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