Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Surgery No. 3

Yep, today is surgery day. Last week and yesterday I did the final bloodwork, test, physical and all that good stuff. I was cleared for surgery. So today I go in and Dr. Kutner will go back and remove where the cancer has regenerated. Recovery will be about 3 weeks. I'll update as I can. Wish me luck!

Thursday, April 17, 2008


So I made it to New Orleans. I'm so glad we were able to get a flight there. I had such a great time.
We had a layover in Utah, and were to arrive in NOLA around 9:30pm. Well, about 8pm, the plane start descending. Sab & I think it's a bit early, but whatever. Sure enough, a few minutes later the pilot comes on and tells us we should be landing in about 20 minutes! YIPPEE! We landed around 9:30. I was so excited! So the first thing we did was catch a cab to our hotel, the Windsor Court. As we are on our way, I confirm with the cabbie the price of our fare. I say, it's $28 right? Flat fee? He was like, "You are going to the Windsor Court Hotel and you're asking me about your fare?" Then Sab was making fun of me too. I guess people who normally stay here do not ask about fares, but I don't like to get taken advantage of, so I just wanted to let him know that I was aware of how much they should be, right - WRONG :)

As we are going up to our rooms, Carolyn is right there in our elevator. She was on the cruise I went on. I was so happy to see someone I knew. Her room happened to be right next door. After we settled in, she came in our room for a few minutes to check out something on QVC.com. After that, Sab & I went to eat an Landrys. It was yummy. I had some fried green tomatoes, grilled shrimp salad, and a few glasses of wine. Here's a pic of my fried green tomatoes.

After dinner, Sebastian & I went to Harrahs and gambled for a bit, lost a little bit, but not too much.

The next morning I went to Cafe Du Monde and I had beignets and cafe au lait. OMG, yummy!! Robin has the pic of that, hopefully I can get that from her. Then Robin, Aileen & I just shopped around the French Quarter for a little while. After that, I went back to the French Quarter with Sebastian. It was really busy because it was the weekend of the French Quarter Festival. But the weather was just perfect. After we walked around Canal St, we went back and took a nap. After my nap, I met up with the ladies and we went to the LA Superdome for the Vagina Monologues. Traffic was crazy and getting a cab was worse! We were walking around looking for a cab, and out of the blue we saw Suze Orman. She was taking pictures with some CRAZY fans, so I didn't bother going to and trying to look like a crazy obsessed fan (if we weren't running late, I probably would've been just like the other ladies... ha ha..). So we caught a cab, and were soon there. The Vagina Monologues were just great. I loved it. The bummer was that Oprah did not show up. My one chance to see her in person. Oh well, maybe one day, just one day, I'll make it to her show. Yeah right, keep dreaming.

After the show, we lost our friends! I got a cab with Nancy and her mom, but we could not find Rachel & Hoot. So we got a cab and headed back to the hotel. As we were sitting there in the lobby, I got a call from Rachel to go to the front of the hotel and wait for Hoot - she is showing up in a cop car! Yep, cop car! So Nancy & I run out there, and sure enough, here comes Hoot & Cathy in the cop car. Hoot could not walk any further, so the cop brought her back. I got a pic with the cop! HA HA Sab.... He wanted a pic with the NOPD, and he even took pics in front of a cop car & scooter earlier in the day! Enjoy the pic.

When we were all back from the V-Day events, we went up to the jazz bar & hung out, had a few glasses of wine, and had a great time. I really enjoyed my time with the BE ladies. I wish we had more time like that. I got back to the room at 2am. Poor Sab was all by himself all night long. It's not like I do that often though.

The next morning Sab & I woke up, got ready & went to Starbucks. I went back to the hotel and went to breakfast with the ladies. We went to the master class and we got all kinds of BE goodies. I even went up and met Leslie again. She is such a wonderful lady. Very kind. After breakfast, it was time to pack and get ready for home. I was sad to say goodbye to everyone, but we had to :( I'm glad we have email & chat rooms! I miss them and hope there are more events we can meet up at.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Flight Cancelled

Are you kidding me? My American Airlines flight to New Orleans was cancelled. Unfriekenbelievable. I just about died. I was so upset. I was crying. The last time that I'm getting out of town before surgery, supposed to meet up with my BE Addicts, and my flight was cancelled. After a few hours of searching, I found a flight on Southwest. I would miss the cocktail party, but at least I could hang out, see the Vagina Monologues, and have brunch with my fellow Addicts. So I AA to make sure that my return flight home was ok. Yep, I can use it, that flight is o.k. But wait a minute - they found me a flight on Delta! YEAH!!! It's still on! I'm still gonna miss my cocktail party, but at least I'll be in NO a little earlier!! WOOHOO, I'm going to New Orleans!!! I hope you all have a great weekend, cuz Sab & I are going to have a blast! And hopefully I'll get to catch up with Nancy, Rachel, Robin, Patrice & Cathy! I'll put up some pics as soon as I can.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I'm Not You

Everybody is different. Everybody responds differently. Although I appreciate how others have managed to deal with cancer, I do not see things the way others do. I try my hardest to stay positive. Yes, I do get sad and cry too. But I don't dwell on it. I try to get over it. I must say that it is not easy. I am learning to deal with this the best I can. But I do not want to be strong because that is what others want me to be, because them I'm being fake. But I also do not want to be weak. I want to be myself. Is it possible to ever be myself again. Cancer does not define who I am. I am not going to let it take over my life.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Big Girls Don't Cry

I just love that song. I wish I could live up to the title.

Yesterday I got a call from my surgeon's assistant. She wanted me to come in today. I thought everthing was ok and that she was calling me to see my leg. I could have not been more wrong. I was totally blind-sided. She had reviewed my PET scan and the melanoma is still present. I will have to have another surgery, and it will take about 3 weeks to recover. Just within the last few days my scar area has been darker and you can feel lumps there. When I met with Dr Paek a few weeks ago, there was no sign of anything. How things change so quickly.

So after my appt with Dr. Kutner this morning, I met with a physical therapist. She gave me some really good exercises to work on to get the strength back in my leg. But since I might have lymphedema and now I have an upcoming surgery, I have to put the exercising on hold. I'm not surprised. I feel like my life has been on hold since last year. So now I don't know when I'm going to visit my sister Maria. I really wanted to go see her this summer.

My surgery is scheduled. I will be having my surgery 2 weeks from today. Tuesday April 22. My main goal is to be healed in time for Reanna's high school graduation.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Another PET scan

I had to have another PET scan. So far no results. I have an appt to get the results on 4/10/08. I've kinda just stopped thinking about that for the moment because of other issues. On Wednesday I woke up and after my shower my leg was hurting really bad. So I sat down on my bed to rest, and I looked down at my leg and it was really puffy. Just to stand on it was painful. So I made an appt with a dr. My surgeon was unavailable, so I just saw someone in Intermal Medicine. I really liked her. She had an ultra sound done, and those results were pretty good. There are no blood clots in my leg. So they are thinking it is lymphedema. It's several days later, and it's still swollen. Hopefully the swelling will go down soon.
Other than that, things are ok. I can't wait to go to New Orleans! This Friday Sebastian & I are going and I'm going to hang out with some BE Addicts that I met on the cruise. I'm so excited. I know it's only for a weekend, but I haven't gotten away for so long (well, except for Napa) I can't wait to get away.