Thursday, February 5, 2009

Never Gonna Know

From day to day I never know what my day is going to be like. Tuesday I had a really bad day. So Tuesday night I came online and asked a few friends to come over and cheer me up on Wednesday, if possible. And yep, Wednesday was a better day. I think I was able to hold my food down all day! And I had a good amount of company too :) But then I woke up this morning and right as I woke up I knew it was not going to be good. It just got worse from there. The good thing was that one of my nurses Dolores, came over and gave me a bath, and I even got out of bed for a few minutes too, although that was very difficult. I wasn't sure if I'd ever try that again, and I did, and yeah, it probably was my last time this time. Anyway, she washed me, changed my sheets and was going to give me a little massage, but because of the pain of getting up, I'll save that for next time.

Throughout the rest of the day I just stayed on pain meds and napped. I had a few visitors, but had to turn most of them away. I'm feeling o.k. now, I hope I don't have to turn down any visitors tomorrow. I know how hard it is for people to adjust their schedules for work, kids, etc and I really appreciate everyone doing that to visit.

I have been receiving tons of feedback, and once again - thanks to all. I would love to reply to everyone, but time does not permit. So thanks to the ones on the top of my head, Anna Hogan, Rick, Marilyn, Kathie and many many others. Your words are so kind and informative. I hold them near and dear to my heart.


Linda Applebaum said...

Linda I know I say it over and over but do know you are in my prayers every day and I hurt so bad for you and your family. You truly are blessed to have your mom with you through this difficult time. Latina Y Amigas miss your smiley face and your contribution to the group.. We are always here if you need anything and your always a part of us in each Thursday night meeting.. HUGS

Maribel said...

Linda, I wish I could take all your pain away. You are very gracious in asking for your time to recover, please don't apologize. I hope you like the audio-book. I'll be on the lookout for more if you find you it suits you.

Love you,

outdrgrl said...

Hi Linda,
You are never far from my heart and my prayers. I just want to say how in awe I am of you for your strength and for your open and honest heart sharing your life and feelings with all of us. I know there are probably days when you heck with the blog...but we are there listening and praying for you. Thank you!! Although we have only had the chance to share two fabulous adventures together in person,you have touched my heart forever.
Hugs. Cathy

Hannaemori said...

I want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Cathy shared your Blog addy, so that I can keep up to date. I totally understand why you can't answer all emails, calls or visits. I'll still send you pics from WI to your email.
Whenever you need me, I'm right there in your heart Girlfriend! I count myself blessed to call you my friend.
Love You,

TEAM HOGAN said...

Hi Linda,

I wanted to tell you that today I got an email from my friend Karrie telling me she found a Stage O melanoma on her back because she chose to get checked because I lost my husband.

Its stories like that - that keep me going. She never knew melanoma could take a life and now she will get checked every 3 mo.

I promise you, we will fight (and keep fighting) to find a cure for this terrible disease and spread the word to anyone who will listen.

I think about you all day. I hope your husband knows he can contact me anytime. I can help him if he's willing to reach out.

Linda, thank you for saying hello to me in your blog.

Be comfortable. You deserve nothing less.

With Love,
Anna Hogan

Rick Possert Jr. said...

Linda, I can never imagine what you, Rach, Brian, and others who have endured this must have physically gone through. I took care of Rach and every day would try and "draw" her sickness into my body so it would "leave" her. It is very hard for us to see someone or at least know what someone who has felt your pain and heartache through all of this. You my friend are a lifesaving angel. you WILL save lives; you have already saved lives through what you've been through because of the fact you have told your story. That is a gift that you and your family will reap forever, even though you and them may not see it firsthand. I wish I could at least come out to you and your family and give my love and support. For now, and ever; I will do what I can to continue to tell your story and the story of Rach and Brian in order to save the lives of others. I will also, no matter what happens, be there for verbal (computer, phone, etc.) support for all of you. Your words have had and will have always had an impact on my heart. You'll never stop being an angel, to so many people.


Robin Strumlauf said...

Linda - I wish I were there to give you a hug. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers daily.