Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I'm Trying My Best

I'm trying my best to get back to everyone who has contacted me. It is rather difficult though. Please be patient. I have received many e-mails, and I read them all. Every single one. Sometimes they are so nice I read them over & over. But I do not have the time to answer everyone individually. I'm trying to do that little by little. I'm still working, and have my family to tend to, and of course my husband makes me rest & elevate my leg ~ a lot. I try to update here before I reply only because I know people are looking for updates, and I can reach a lot more people here than individually. And you all know that I when I'm with you, or write you, I give my undivided attention. So when I get to your message, please know I put my time, heart and energy into it. I can't tell you how important all of your messages are. They are so encouraging. I hear so many kind things ~ do you all have the right person? Did you get me mixed up with someone else? They touch my heart in so many ways. Sometimes I just sit in front of the computer and cry because they are all so beautiful.

So to answer a few questions I see repeatedly. I'll try to do it so everyone can understand, but sometimes I forget. Sometimes even I don't understand :) I have had 3 surgeries. The first was 8/13/07. Due to the amount of melanoma in the mole that was removed from my knee, they went in there and removed what tissue they could, and then removed 2 lymph nodes in my left groin to see if it spread. They found it had spread to my lymph nodes, so on 10/2/07 they removed the remaining lymph nodes (13) in my left groin. Of the 13, only 3 were positive for cancer, so they thought it was really good. I did treatment for about 2 mos, and life went back to normal. At my 4 mo. checkup, it was found that it had returned to my left groin area. Although the lymph nodes had all been removed, it's possible that a trace of cancer was still there. It used the scar tissue to regenerate itself. On 4/22/08 was surgery #3. The cancer was visible on my leg, and all of the skin was removed and the old scar was cut out. Dr. Kutner tried to get it all, but couldn't. Other thing I hear a lot ~ I don't look sick. Well, to be honest, I don't feel sick. The only time I feel sick is after surgery and when I did my treatment. Other than that life is normal. I guess that's what makes it hard sometimes for me to even accept this. How come I only feel sick when I'm trying to fight this disease? Believe me, I can do without the feeling sick part. Not the best days I've had. Last question ~ Yes, I'm still working. Part-time. My work has been very generous and I like to work because it's an outlet for me (just like writing here!). It gets my thoughts off of myself, and my situation.

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