Friday, August 1, 2008

No Treatment Yet

So I showed up to Dr Gailani's office yesterday. I met with his assistant first and then Dr Gailani. After they both asked all the questions twice, Dr Gailani did not want to admit me. He wants to make sure that I don't have any GI infections. It's ok if I do have an infection, they'll just give me medicine to fix it. But they want to make sure if I have it or not. Plus he wants me to rest a little bit more. He was leery of admitting me again because I'm not 100% yet. He said it's like beating me while I'm already down. He wants me a little better so that my body can handle it better. He's off today, so I'll most likely be admitted on Monday. He told me to go to Disneyland for the weekend. I can barely walk around my house, and he wants me to go to Disneyland? Unfortunately that's not gonna happen.
It really messes everything up that I wasn't admitted yesterday. Now we have to fly Reanna home because she has to go back to work. Sebastian is gonna have to take another week off of work. And my mom was to fly out the day I got home to take care of me. Plus Lori is watching my house and Peanut & Butter. So everything is all messed up. Luckily everything is working out little by little.
About 1 1/2 weeks ago Reanna flat ironed my hair. So I didn't have to wash it for quite a few days. Finally on Wednesday I washed it. When I did, my hair fell out. A lot. Kind of like when it came out after my Interferon treatments, but more. I was planning on having her do it again, but was afraid it would pull out my hair more. Since I knew I'd be checking in the hospital yesterday, I didn't wash it. Of course I had to wash it today. Clumps and clumps were falling out. Just when I thought I was done, and my hair had already been rinsed, there was another huge clump. I was shocked and gasped. Reanna asked me if I was ok, because she was right outside of the bathroom. I just said "Yeah, it's just my hair falling out" The water pressure was not so good, so my hair was all knotted up. Reanna helped me brush it out, and more and more hair came out. I filled the garbage about 1/2 way will all my hair. If you see me now, it still looks normal. But I don't know know long this will last. Earlier today said he loves me no matter how much hair I have. He asked if I would still love him if he was bald, and I said "Of course!" He said he feels the same way towards me, and he said at least mine will grow back :) I told him I totally understand that. I don't feel like people will love me less, its just like a part of me will be missing. I don't think of my hair as my trademark (I think that my trademark would be my love of makeup ~ and I very rarely wear it lately, as it's takes too much energy.... so I'm not that vain!), but I am just having a hard time losing it. It falls out every where. It's on everything. I can only imagine how much will come out when I start the treatment again. I'm afraid to wash/brush it again, but I have no choice. I guess I shouldn't take it for granted while I still have it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey,I miss you and I can't wait to see you. By the way if you would have it my hair is yours for the asking,lol!! love you Maria